


Gensokyo Festival 2020 Prompt Fills

by Aardvark123



Series: All my Gensokyo Festival Stuff [4]
Category: Touhou Project
Genre: Anthology, Comedy, Dark Comedy, Fantasy, Gensokyo Festival, Multi, Prompt Fill Compilation, Tags Don't Apply to Every Entry, Tumblr Prompt, Yuri
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-02
Updated: 2020-09-07
Packaged: 2021-02-28 07:26:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 10,313
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22990051
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aardvark123/pseuds/Aardvark123
Summary: A bunch of literary Touhou prompt fills for March 2020. Given the nature of the Gensokyo Festival, this is a mixed bag where anything can and will happen.
Series: All my Gensokyo Festival Stuff [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1311350
Kudos: 17





	1. Day 1: Beginnings

**Author's Note:**

> For the prompt “beginnings”, I wrote something about Sakuya and the many possible beginnings she could have experienced. Can you spot all the references?

# ~What Are Little Girls Maid Of?~

"You and your sister were the best pilots we ever had, you know. I'm sure you'll still be a force to be reckoned with."

Flandre had her doubts, but held her tongue as she followed Eirin into the bustling command centre. A few people looked up as they approached, but most eyes were on the boxing ring at the far side of the room where Tokiko and Nazrin were rolling on the floor, trapped in a mutual headlock.

"As for your new partner," said Eirin, "we have some... promising candidates, one of whom is sure to be drift-compatible with you. Take Kurumi, for example. She's a vampire as well, aren't you?"

"No bullshit, mate! I'm a fair dinkum vampire, straight up." Kurumi romped over to Flandre and held out her hand. "Who are you, then?"

"Um... Flandre," said Flandre, shaking it.

Kurumi's smile vanished. "Flanno? What, like the top? But you're in a blouse, ya drongo! Honestly, I really hate ya now. Think yer so much better'n me just because yer old man was Dracula?! Fight me or piss off!"

Eirin and Flandre stared in amazement as Kurumi hopped into the ring, stumbling as her wings got caught on the rope. Nazrin gave her a hand. Tokiko watched and laughed.

"I don't have to fight her, do I?" said Flandre.

"Well..." Eirin winced a little. "We do choose drift partners through sparring now. I think it would do Kurumi some good to blow off steam, honestly, unless you see somebody else?"

"Well..." Flandre took a gander at the small crowd, who by now were watching Tokiko restrain Kurumi from punching Nazrin. A silver-haired woman in a white and dark blue dress met her gaze and smiled. "What about her with the plaits?"

"Oh, Sakuya's not participating. She's just the maid for now," said Eirin quickly. "How about Sanae? You need a strong, capable partner-"

"Like me," muttered Sakuya.

"Shut up. You need a strong, capable partner, Flandre. Someone like Sanae, or Clownpiece, or indeed Kurumi..."

"Why not Sakuya?"

Eirin pursed her lips. "Dramatic tension demands that I keep Sakuya out of the action for as long as possible, so unless you know something I- AUGH!"

A dazed Kurumi flew into Eirin's stomach, bringing her down in a painful heap.

Flandre laughed nervously. "I think this Sakuya has her own take on dramatic tension, Eirin."

"Oh, God..." Peering as best she could over the unconscious vampire, Eirin watched as Sakuya tied Nazrin's legs up in her tail, kneed Tokiko in the stomach and threw them both among the computers.

"Wow..." breathed Flandre. "Sakuya... You're incredible! She's my partner, Eirin."

Sakuya smiled. "Come along, then, and I'll beat you senseless to cement our friendship."

"Out of the question!" barked Eirin. She threw Kurumi aside and rose to her feet. "Don't you understand, Sakuya?! You're too valuable to me! You're my-"

* * *

"Can I just stop you there, Flandre?"

"Huh? Why?!"

"Well, for starters, none of this ever happened. I never died, Kurumi was never Australian and if one of us had died fighting in a giant robot, it would've been you!" snapped Remilia. "And Sakuya never worked for Eirin either. As a young woman, she was... Um..."

"What was she?" asked Alice.

"Um..." Remilia frowned. "Come to think of it, I don't know. I don't remember her ever being young. I don't... Was there ever a time when she wasn't the way she is now?"

"Well... There has to have been, doesn't there? Everyone has to be born, be a child, do the growing and things, right?" said Flandre contemplatively.

"Only if we view time in a linear sense." Alice uncrossed her legs, leaned forwards and crossed them over the other way. "Sakuya doesn't need to do that, does she? Maybe her life never 'began' in the way we would think of it."

"Who are we talking about?" From out of nowhere, Sakuya was standing on top of the coffee table.

"OH, MY GODS!" screamed Alice, leaping back in her chair hard enough to overturn it.

"We were just wondering," said Remilia levelly, "where exactly you came from?"

Sakuya blinked. "Why, I thought you would remember, seeing as you were there when it all went down."

"Went...?" Remilia numbly repeated.

"...Down?" said Flandre, dumbstruck.

"Don't you remember?"

Remilia and Flandre shook their heads.

"Well, then, I suppose I shall have to give you both an in-depth retelling of my entire backstory," said Sakuya resignedly. "Ms Margatroid as well, since she's here. Are you all ready?"

Flandre's face lit up. "As I've ever been!"

"It is about time we heard it," agreed Remilia.

"Then I'll tell you." Sakuya hopped down from the table and took a seat. "Let's see, now, it all started when my mother was visited by a strange, silver-haired maiden who claimed to be from..."

* * *

_"...and my sandals as well, but still the cat spoke to me and urged me to take up the Luna Dial. That morning, I decided I would try..."_

_"...but when I looked over my shoulder, he was still gaining on me. Trapped between a painful death from plummeting into the Grand Canyon and the greater pain of disappointing my parents, all I could think to do was pretend that..."_

_"...And what, I hear you ask, did I hope to find in the jungle? To tell you the truth, I had no idea, but a large pink flower caught my eye. As soon as I touched it, however, thick vines bedecked with sharp thorns ruptured into the tunnel..."_

_"...nothing I could do, and to make matters worse, her fate was entirely my fault. As I watched helplessly, the life drained from my master's face. All the twins left behind was a cracked grey statue. Later that day, it was decided that we would..."_

_"...my own uncle! While I could scarcely believe it, my dearly departed father's words brooked no disbelief, and I soon saw the truth for what it was. Without a moment's hesitation, I slew my uncle and eloped with Ophelia. During our honeymoon, however, events took a highly unusual turn..."_

_"...not one, not two, but three of the foul bronze vessels materialised before us in a shower of golden sparks. I could see the fear in my co-pilot's eyes. Just one bronze craft had been enough to..."_

_"...like shimmering rubies! And her arms, so strong, like the boughs of an oak tree! My sweet Meiling, how I had longed for her touch-"_

"Sakuya, for pity's sake, skip ahead!"

"Oh, all right."

_"...The room did not, however, contain anything close to what I expected. The men and their gorilla had set up a printing press and were churning out bank notes by the dozen. I shivered in my kilt. What could I hope to..."_

_"...was the first to arrive, and as you might expect, I had done things properly. A second-hand Triumph Dolomite 2000, as reliable as ever a car was forged, sold for fewer pounds than its number! As per the producers' orders, I awaited Captain Slow and the Hamster at..."_

_"...only to find that there was not an ancient horn but a message, instructing me to meet my contact at the inn. With no more encouraging clues to go on, I took a short nap and headed back to..."_

_"...But the metal egg was still there, and the blue-haired girl was still staring out through the window with that same distant look on her face. To my amazement, she spoke, asking me to release her from..."_

_"...I found my friends gathered around the picnic tables as usual, but it soon became apparent that something was wrong. Instead of the celebration I was expecting, 'Spring Cleaning Day' had been declared. So I stabbed the long-eared dictator and went out to buy some Easter eggs..."_

_"...but just then, when I thought all hope was lost, the former slaves rallied around me. 'I am Sakuya!' 'No, I am!' 'I'm Sakuya and so's my wife!', they chorused. I could hardly hold back my tears of..."_

_"...clean over his head and onto the giant axe! It struck the bridge with a terrible force, sending my ancient foe tumbling into his own moat of lava. My work was not yet done, though, so I rushed into the castle and..."_

* * *

"...And found myself here, in this room, recounting my history to you. While every word I have spoken was true, I cannot promise all of it happened in the same timeline, nor the same universe, nor about the same iteration of Sakuya."

"Wh... WHAT?!" Remilia leapt to her feet in what would have been a towering rage if she was more that four foot nothing. "Why didn't you tell us?!"

"Nobody asked." Sakuya winked and flashed her listeners a dazzling smile. "Now, Alice, I believe you mentioned an egg custard tart with plum jam."

"Hold on! At least tell us the truth!" Flandre cut her off. "Are you Eirin's daughter?"

For a brief moment, Sakuya seemed lost. Then she smiled and slowly shook her head. "It was nothing like that. Eirin was my synchronised swimming coach at primary school."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Patch Notes for Version 1.1
> 
> * Rewrote the opening segment to reference Pacific Rim instead of Attack on Titan.  
> * Added a reference to Hinamatsuri in Sakuya's long list of backstory snippets.


	2. Day 2: Food

# ~The Three Fairies of Light have a Feast~

# OR:

# ~Sunny Milk, Luna Child and Star Sapphire May Be Known as the Three Fairies of Light, but there’s Nothing Light about their Appetites~

  
Warm sunlight was casting its orange glow through the curtains, but Luna Child felt quite all right where she was. Her blanket was perfectly warm and snuggly and her pillow was as soft as ever a pillow could be. With a sigh, Luna burrowed under her soft pillow and sank into restful dreams.  
  
“Luna! Luna! Get up! Get up! Get up!”  
  
Luna awoke to a terrible commotion. Some unseen force was throwing her up and down on her mattress. With a startled cry, she threw off her covers and blearily took in the sight of Sunny Milk jumping up and down with glee.  
  
“Do you have to do this every morning? Really?” demanded Luna.  
  
“Sure do! Come on, it’s a beautiful day full of adventures and fun to be had!” Sunny grabbed Luna around the waist and carried her down to the sitting room.  
  
Star Sapphire was laying the table with glasses of orange juice. She barely glanced up as Sunny stomped into the room. “Good morning, you two. I hope you’ve got your appetites with you!”  
  
“Sure have!” said Sunny blithely, dumping Luna in her chair. “What’s for breakfast?”  
  
“A loaf of bread. With butter on it.” Star hopped up on a short wooden stool and grabbed a wicker basket from the shelves. Her face fell when she peeked inside. “Oh… That’s not good. Ladies, do you like irons?”  
  
Sunny looked at Luna. Luna looked at Sunny.  
  
“What do you mean?” asked Sunny.  
  
“Irons! I bought one instead of a loaf by accident,” said Luna, with a nervous laugh. “It’s made of copper. Does anyone like copper?”  
  
Luna fell face-first on her placemat.  
  
“Star,” said Sunny dangerously, “what are you telling me? You tried to buy a loaf of bread and bought an iron?!”  
  
“I didn’t mean to! It just sort of happened!” Full of timidity, Star clutched the stout copper clothing-flattener to her chest. “I’m really sorry, you two.”  
  
“All right.” Sunny downed her orange juice in one gulp. “What are we going to eat, Star?! I can’t not eat! I’ll starve! And so will you and Luna!”  
  
“I-I don’t know!” wailed Star.  
  
Luna gasped. “Wait! I know! We’ll buy more food!”  
  
Sunny’s jaw dropped. She ran to Luna’s side and hugged her. “Oh, Luna, you’re the best!”  
  
“G-get off!” Luna shoved Sunny away. “Uh, what are we going to buy?”  
  
“Let’s have fried sugar donuts!” suggested Star.  
  
“No, I fancy moon cakes!” declared Luna.  
  
“Chicago style deep-dish cheese pizza!” yelled Sunny.  
  
“Well, um,” said Star, “we can’t eat all that.”  
  
“All right, we’ll have a race!” Sunny’s eyes were aflame with passion. “I’ll get the pizza, you get the moon cakes, you get the donuts and we’ll eat the thing whoever gets back the fastest had with them!”  
  
Luna looked at Star. Star looked at Luna.  
  
“Got it! I’ll be back soon!” Star dove out of the window.  
  
Sunny jumped for joy. “Oh, this is going to be the best! Let’s go! Let’s go!”  
  
“Um…” Luna stared after her hurrying friends, her mouth shaped uncannily like a chestnut. “All right, I’ll get the moon cakes and hurry home, I suppose.”  
  


* * *

  
“Thirty of your finest Okinawan sugar donuts, please!”  
  
“I… I’m sorry?”  
  
“Down here.”  
  
The baker cast her eyes around in mild panic until she saw the pint-sized fairy beneath the front of her stall. “Oh, hello there, little… thing! I, um. For thirty sugar donuts, it’ll be a thousand yen. Is that all right?”  
  
“Hmmm…” Star dug through her purse, discarding a couple of buttons and a spare tin whistle. She eventually dumped a handful of coins on the counter, several of which rolled onto the cakes below. “Here you go!”  
  
The baker sighed heavily. “Thank you. Do you want a bag?”  
  


* * *

  
“Hello? Marisa?! Are you in?!” Sunny hammered on the door to little effect. “Marisa, I need help!”  
  
“What?! I’m watering the frogs!” came the quiet reply.  
  
A faint splash caught Sunny’s ear. She ran through the undergrowth until she found Marisa throwing buckets of water into her oozy green pond.  
  
“Hey, Marisa! It’s me! I need help!”  
  
“Okay…” Marisa dropped her bucket and wandered over to Sunny, slipping off her gardening gloves. “What’s the problem?”  
  
“I need to make a Chicago style deep-dish cheese pizza for Luna and the gang!” Sunny erroneously referred to Star Sapphire as a ‘gang’. “You can do anything, Marisa! If anyone knows how to make a Chicago style deep-dish cheese pizza, it’s you!”  
  
“Well, Sunny, it looks like you’ve come to the right place! I happen to be a genuine Pizza Master, trained by the legendary Annelisa DiFiatapunto of Brindisi!” Marisa put her hands on her hips. As tall as she was in comparison to Sunny, the gesture looked properly badass for once. “I’ll go and put the oven on. Your job’s the most important: weeding the mushroom bed.”  
  
Sunny tilted her head. “Weeding the mushroom bed is the most important job for making a Chicago style deep-dish pizza?”  
  
“Oh, yes!” Marisa nodded earnestly.  
  
“Okay! Can I borrow some overalls?”  
  


* * *

  
“And what can I do for you, little miss?”  
  
“I want to buy some moon cakes, please!”  
  
“Moon cakes?” Nemuno stared down at Luna. “You… Want to buy…? I don’t sell moon cakes!”  
  
“What?!” Luna’s face fell. “But-but that sign over your door says this is a bakery!”  
  
“No it doesn’t!” Nemuno shoved past Luna and stared door. Her jaw dropped. Sure enough, a roughly painted wooden sign which read 'BAYKARY’ had been nailed up above the door.  
  
“See?” said Luna smugly.  
  
“Who the hell could’ve done that?!” Nemuno angrily stomped her foot. “Goddamn vandals! Do you know anything about this?”  
  
“No…” Luna’s brow furrowed. “Sunny was doing pranks up here a couple of days ago. She’d’ve told me if she saw anyone drawing a silly sign.”  
  
“She… She what?”  
  
“She’d’ve told me,” repeated Luna, “if she saw anyone drawing a silly sign.”  
  
For a full ten seconds, Nemuno was silent. Then she hefted Luna and turned her around. “Try Mother’s Deliciousness in the Human Village.”  
  
“Oh, thank you! Now, could you maybe put me down-”  
  
Nemuno delivered a blistering kick to Luna’s bottom. Luna sailed all the way to the Prismrivers’ house and splashed down in Lyrica’s bubble bath.  
  


* * *

  
“I win! I win!” squeaked Star, bursting into the treehouse with her arms full of sugar donuts.  
  
“Another victory for Sunny Milk!” yelled Sunny, smashing through the sitting room window. Her dress was ragged and her knees were all muddy.  
  
“Moon cakes are served!” declared Luna, sliding down the chimney in a soggy shower of soot.  
  
The fairies plonked down their spoils on the table and looked expectantly at one-another. Their faces fell when they realised none of them was being hailed as God-Queen of Provender Acquisition.  
  
“Who won?” Sunny bit the bullet.  
  
“It’s me! It has to be! I came in here a whole second before the rest of you!” said Star insistently.  
  
“I got kicked up the bum for this meal! I’d call myself the moral victor,” pouted Luna.  
  
“Well, it can’t be both of you,” said Sunny reasonably, “so it has to be me! All right! Three cheers for Sunny Milk!”  
  
The indifference from Luna and Star was deafening.  
  
“W-well, um, we can agree to disagree…” Sunny gave a nervous laugh. “But seriously, the Chicago style deep-dish cheese pizza’s very hot, and Kasen says bacteria love hot food.”  
  
“What’s a bacteria?” asked Luna.  
  
“They’re these tiny youkai who eat all your food and make you unwell,” explained Sunny.  
  
“How horrible!” gasped Star. “You’re right, Sunny, we have to eat the pizza before it gets bacteria-ed.”  
  
“Then let’s tuck in!” Sunny tore the cloth off the basket and unveiled her pizza with relish. It was lumpy and misshapen and contained a lake of steaming hot cheese marbled with blue mould. “We made it with Marisa’s special blue cheese!”  
  
“Wow…” Luna’s mouth hung open, chestnut-shaped as always. “Is there enough for all of us? I could eat the whole thing!”  
  
“You do have a point… Oh, wait a minute!” cried Sunny. “Didn’t you buy a load of moon cakes?!”  
  
“Why, yes!” Luna’s face lit up. “We can eat those too!”  
  
“And have my donuts for pudding!” squeaked Star, licking her lips.  
  
“Then let’s not wait another moment!” Sunny pulled a gleaming boot knife from her adorable buckle shoe and started carving the pizza. It looked like it would be a delicious afternoon.


	3. Day 3: Adventure

# ~Marisa and Narumi Take Youkai Mountain~

A maiden from the mystic woods  
Went out to roam one day.  
‘Neath arching boughs and golden leaves  
She gaily made her way.  
  
The sun was high, but well the breeze  
Did chill her skin, and so  
She stamped her feet and strode apace  
Which set her cheeks aglow.  
  
A winding path the witch did walk  
A mile along, until  
She saw before her rank on rank  
Of snowdrops on the hill.  
  
Marisa loved a sight so fair.  
Mere months the flock would last  
Ere sun and squirrels claimed the blooms  
And left them to the past.  
  
A voice broke through Marisa’s thoughts.  
“What brought you here, my friend?  
"To gaze o'er flowers crystal-white?  
"That is what I intend.”  
  
With plaits of jet and earlobes great  
Narumi thither came.  
“They’re oh, so pretty!” she did smile.  
“Do you, friend, feel the same?”  
  
“I do feel pretty! Super-cute!”  
Marisa then did boast.  
“The snowdrops too I love to spy  
"But my reflection most.”  
  
Narumi fell upon her face.  
“Are you for real?!” she cried.  
“For really real!” did Mari quote  
The one who wasn’t Mai.  
  
“Let’s see the sights together now.  
"I want to stretch my legs,”  
Narumi tried to change the subject  
Not to tread on eggs.  
  
They hiked towards the stream that slinked  
Through swamps and marshland green  
Beneath the Youkai Mountain high  
And warm Genbu Ravine.  
  
Above the mire they drifted high  
And on towards the hills.  
Bedecked by trees, they gently rose  
Above the water still.  
  
Marisa touched upon the grass  
And lighted from her broom.  
Bright sun still shone upon the mud.  
No early evening gloom.  
  
“This view is such a wond'rous treat,”  
Said Narumi as she  
Did land beside the hatted witch  
And lean upon a tree.  
  
“A treat indeed!” a voice did roar.  
The women jumped and fled.  
But 'twas too late for poor Marisa.  
A bucket struck her head.  
  
“The PAIN!” she howled. Upon the ground  
She writhed and clutched her pate.  
“Who are you?!” yelled Narumi fierce.  
The bucket stood up straight.  
  
From wooden shell a youkai rose.  
Her hair was smooth and green.  
“You stand before Ms Kisume!  
"I am the bucket queen!”  
  
“It’s you?! You’re nothing! You’re a pest!”  
Marisa wasn’t thrilled.  
In hand she took her mighty wand.  
“Do you wish to be killed?!”  
  
“Where being killed’s concerned, my foe,  
"It won’t be I who’ll fall.”  
Kisume laughed with prideful glee.  
She stood near six feet tall.  
  
Our heroines were struck with awe  
As Kisume unveiled.  
So great a woman scarce before  
Had sat inside a pail.  
  
With muscles kin to carvéd rock  
An amazon was she.  
The tsurube-otoshi charged  
And punched poor Narumi.  
  
Kisume’s wrath gave way to pain  
As loudly cracked her knuckles.  
“Please don’t forget I’m carved from stone!”  
Narumi proudly chuckled.  
  
“Don’t celebrate just yet, statue!”  
Growled Kisume. With that,  
She soared aloft and feet-first lunged  
For Narumi’s straw hat.  
  
The cone-shaped headpiece flew aside.  
Narumi fell, quite stunned.  
Kisume took her cards in hand.  
For Marisa she gunned.  
  
Ten thousand sparks Kisume cast  
All burning bright and blue.  
Ten thousand sparks Marisa dodged  
And laughed to see her stew.  
  
“Your blazing rain can’t catch me, twit!  
"You’re weak without the dark!  
"I’ll show you why they fear my name!  
"Come taste my Master Spark!”  
  
A rainbow brighter than the sun  
Exploded from her heart  
And blasted Kisume downhill  
To plunge into the marsh.  
  
“Oh, yuck!” Kisume cried. “I’m soaking!  
"This place is much too boggy!”  
Never in her bucket had  
She wound up half as soggy.  
  
The forest women wandered back  
For lunch and bowls of tea.  
Marisa served a pumpkin pie  
With cream for Narumi.  
  
“What fun we’ve had, my magic friend!”  
A full Narumi sighed.  
“For exercise, a snowdrop viewing  
"Cannot be denied!”


	4. Day 6: Sleep

# ~Nap Time with Chen~

“Good evening, ladies and Rinnosuke! You’re watching Nap Time with Chen, the nation’s favourite and only four-hour-long TV show about a nekomata having a snooze!”  
  
Letty and Cirno shared a look of considerable bemusement. They watched Ran talk about Chen in a stage whisper for several minutes before shifting the camera over to Chen’s bed, where the young starlet was snoozing comfortably in a nest of blankets and fluffy pillows.  
  
Ran left the camera facing Chen and wandered off to read a book. In Cirno’s comfortably frigid igloo, the indifference was deafening.  
  
“I can’t really say I see the point of this programme,” said Letty. “If it’s just Chen having a nap, then…”  
  
“Maybe she’ll do something interesting. Like sleepwalking or, um, having night terrors!” said Cirno breezily.  
  
“Night terrors…?” There were times when Letty worried for Cirno’s sanity.  
  
“That’d be fun!” smiled Cirno, confirming Letty’s fears. She glanced at the flickering, slightly round screen and let out a gasp. “Oh, my days, she yawned! Look! Look!! Letty!! Chen just yawned!!!”  
  
“I’m looking! I’m looking!” Letty tried not to panic while Cirno practically climbed on top of her and aimed her head at the screen. “Come on, I know how to use my eyes… Oh, hey, she rolled over!”  
  
“Oh, this just gets better and better!” squealed Cirno, trembling with delight. Her wings grew bigger and colder from the uncontainable energy surging through her veins.  
  
“Well, yes, it… It is kind of compelling…” Letty pushed a crystalline wing aside before it could poke her in the eye. “Cirno, do you want to get us some iced tea before she yawns again?”  
  
“Sure! What kind do you… Want…?” Cirno yawned magnificently and rested her head against Letty. “Actually, I’m kinda tired…”  
  
“Well, um, the tea’ll give you energy…” Letty’s heart sank. Cirno was already asleep, curled up on her soft tummy like a bipedal puppy with wings, the most blissful smile upon her little face.  
  
“Sweet dreams, I guess,” sighed Letty. It wasn’t as if she had anything important to be doing for the next three and a half hours.


	5. Day 7: Dungarees

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a silly one.

# ~The Super Touhou Sisters Super Show~

"Damn it all to heck... I can't believe this happened to Kotohime of all people! That stupid, selfish kappa! I'll make her pay."

Fairies dove out of Marisa's way as she stormed through the forest. It was rare to see her so angry, especially with Reimu by her side, although it was also rare to see Reimu in her dark red dungarees.

"She's really gone too far this time," said Reimu, stepping over a tanuki who had turned into a teapot. "Kidnapping is one thing, but eating a woman's liver...!"

"You're gonna kill her, right?" asked Marisa.

Reimu nodded, her face grim. "It doesn't feel right, paying death with more death, but she's brought it upon herself."

"Yeah... Oh, here's Sanae!"

Sanae was skipping along the forest track towards them, clad in bright green dungarees. "Ayy, Reimu, Marisa! Ciao, ciao! It's-a me, Sanae!" she yelled, full of joy, putting on a ridiculous Italian accent.

"Um," said Marisa.

"Um," said Reimu.

"You guys-a ready to go and-a rescue-a Kotohime?" Sanae blithely rattled on.

"Sanae," said Reimu faintly, "what is this?"

"We're-a rescuing a princess! Gotta to do it-a properly, uh?" explained Sanae, still all smiles. "Hence I gave-a you those-a dungarees, paisano!"

"My... My dunga...?" Reimu stared down at the aforementioned garment she was wearing. "To be frank, Sanae, I just thought you didn't want me getting my clothes dirty."

"No! It's-a 'cause we're-a like-a the Mario Brothers, uh?!" said Sanae insistently, waving her arms around like crazy. "You're-a Mario and I'm-a Luigi! We's-a perfect for the roles!"

"M-Mario?! No, I'm Reimu! Reimu Hakurei, daughter of Akari, Shrine Maiden of Paradise! You know, the same Reimu you've known for ten years?"

"Come on, work-a with-a me here! It'll be fun!"

"Look, if you wanna talk about fun, we're dealing with a dangerous kappa who _kills people_ for it! This isn't going to be the usual kind of Incident, Sanae," said Marisa severely.

"You like-a the funghi, uh? Then you can be-a Toadette! You already got-a the big hat an'a the plaits an'a the grassa stomaca, so you's-a just right!" Sanae completely missed Marisa's point.

"You... You think there's grass... In my tummy?"

"No, no, it means-a you's-a thicc!" Sanae corrected her.

"Oh!" said Marisa. "Glad you noticed! But, look, we really need your head in the game for this Incident. Once we get to Kappa Valley..." She took a deep breath. "It's Nitori or us three. Someone's not gonna be walking out of there alive. Got that?"

"I understand. I'll-a take it as-a seriously as-a you usually do, uh?" smirked Sanae.

"N-no! You have to take it even seriouslier..." Marisa's face reddened. "This is going to be painful, isn't it?"

* * *

With courage in their hearts and spell-cards in hand, our intrepid heroines fought their way through Kappa Valley. They faced danger at every turn, duelling all manner of deadly robots and fierce kappa warriors who had, with varying degrees of enthusiasm, sworn to lay down their lives in service of their queen.

To her friends' chagrin, Sanae insisted on jumping on the heads of her enemies. Her shoes were enough to knock out some of the kappa but did very little to the robots, let alone the lava moats, massive steel spikes and feral crocodiles.

Eventually they came before the gate to Nitori's mountain fortress. Marisa master sparked the titanium gate down and stood aside for Reimu to send her orbs after the gun turrets. Sanae lamented the lack of things to jump on. They blasted their way through the few remaining guards and stormed the cavernous throne room, but what awaited them was not the Nitori they knew.

"Well, well, well! If it isn't Sanae and her little friends, come to rescue their crazy police princess!" Nitori sneered down from on high. "You're not going to beat me. I've evolved far beyond any youkai you've faced before!"

Reimu stared up at Nitori, her face turning pale. "Nitori...! She's huge! What in Bishamonten's name happened?!"

"Shirikodama, son! I used to think they were just an obstacle on the way to a human's delicious liver, but it turns out they hold the key to the ultimate power!" roared Nitori, leaning her stocky, twenty-metre-tall frame down until Reimu could feel her hot, acrid breath.

"Son?" repeated Reimu, leaning backwards.

"You know what I mean."

"I'm not a son."

"Shut up! Am I killing you or what?!" barked Nitori.

"Or what." Marisa whipped out her hakkero. "You said 'rescue', right? So that means Kotohime's still alive. I won't let her suffer at your hands for a moment longer!"

"Yes, she's alive. I'm going to encase her in stone and use her as a back-scratcher," sneered Nitori. "You can't stop me! Prepare to-"

"MASTER SPARK!"

"Oof!" Nitori winced as the iridescent beam blasted her torso. "Nice try, but you'll have to hit me about a hundred times harder."

Marisa grimaced. "We can manage that, right, Reimu?"

"I don't know..."

"Then just-a leave it-a to me!" said Sanae. "Toadette! You got any mushrooms in-a that apron?"

Marisa gave her a withering look. "What kind of a witch WOULDN'T have spare mushrooms? Here, try this one." She tossed a round red fungus to Sanae, who immediately tucked in.

Bright yellow light flared around Sanae. "This is-a perfect!" she squeaked, growing to an enormous size. "I'd like-a to see you take-a me on now, Nitori!"

"What is this?!" growled Nitori, drawing herself up to her full height. "I'm supposed to be the huge one around here! I'll teach you to step on my toes!"

"Not-a likely, you big, ugly kappa! You'll-a be defeated by, oh, I don't even know whether I should pretend to be Luigi or Ultraman!" Sanae hopped up and down with glee, shaking the earth.

Reimu and Marisa couldn't help but cringe at Sanae's antics.

Nor could Nitori. "Is your friend, um, all right? Only she didn't seem half as crazy when she moved here..."

Reimu drew a breath in through her teeth. "Well..."

"See for yourself," said Marisa.

"All right..." Nitori didn't sound convinced. "Face me if you dare, giant Sanae!"

"For Gensokyo!" Sanae charged at Nitori and punched her in the face. Nitori stumbled back and pushed off against the wall, cracking some of the brickwork. She tackled Sanae right in the stomach.

Sanae welcomed the onrushing Nitori with a firm grasp and rolled across the floor, sending Marisa and Reimu scurrying for cover. Sanae threw Nitori into the solid gold statue she'd had built of herself, complete with bulky cap. Nitori scrambled to her feet, only to take a devastating kick to the face.

"Aaaaugh!" Nitori collapsed on the floor, bleeding from her nose.

"That's-a nothing more-a than a taste of-a my full power!" laughed Sanae, nowhere close to emulating Luigi's personality. "Are you-a ready to let-a Kotohime go or do I have-a to clobber you some more, uh?"

"Damn it..." growled Nitori. "With those dungarees, you have unrestricted movement and almost no floppy folds of fabric I can grab! Very clever, Sanae. You have me beaten. Kotohime's tied up in the wine cellar. As for me, I think I'll take my leave now!"

"Don't you dare!" Sanae lunged for Nitori, but the oversized kappa was gone, bursting through the ceiling in a shower of roofing tiles and broken timber.

"All right, you two take-a care of-a Kotohime! I'll go after-a her!" shouted Sanae, leaping through the ceiling. After a few seconds she crashed back down, taking most of the surviving roof with her.

"Oh, my gods, Sanae! What happened?!" gasped Marisa, rushing to her side.

"I forgot..." groaned Sanae. She flashed a forlorn yellow as she shrank back down to size. "Luigi can't fly. I'm probably better off as Sanae. Ow..."


	6. Day 5: Rain

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You see up there, where it says "Chapters: 6 / 31"? That was a laugh. Let's just see how many stories I finish before Gensokyo Festival 2021.

# ~The Rain in Japan Falls Mainly on the Moriya Clan~

Frigid gales were buffeting the Moriya Shrine. Water lashed down from the grey skies to hammer on the roof, spilling off the blue stone tiles in waves. It was hardly a day to be outside, hence how startled Suwako was to hear a knock on the door.

"Who the heck could that be?!" cried Suwako, her wide eyes betraying how startled she was to hear a knock on the door. She laid down her battered NES controller. "Kanako, could you get that?"

"Of course." Kanako took advantage of Suwako's lapse in concentration and hit the accelerator, overtaking her pixellated go-kart with ease. "Sanae, answer the door, won't you?"

"Okay!" Sanae stood up and ran to the door. She slid it open, only to cry out in shock as a sopping-wet Youmu fell into her arms.

"Sanae, you came for me!" gasped Youmu, clinging Sanae as her own damp, flimsy kimono clung to her shivering body. "It was awful out there. I don't understand..."

"Oh, Youmu, you poor thing... Come here." Sanae ushered Youmu inside, all but carrying her soggy weight, and let her slump down on a wooden chair. "What on Earth were you doing out in that monsoon?!"

"I was bringing you your book back and I got caught in the rain." Youmu sniffled and wiped her nose, which was useless with her arms so wet. "It's probably all waterlogged by now, though..."

"That's fine! I could probably dry it-"

"The door, Sanae, the door!" Kanako had taken notice of the lake beginning to form in the hallway.

Sanae ran to the door, slipping a little, and slammed it shut against the elements. "Sorry about that. Here, lemme take your boots."

With trembling, frigid fingers, Youmu unlaced her soaking geta-boots and passed them to Sanae, who laid them on an old Bunbunmaru next to her own froggy wellies.

Sanae sat next to Youmu, put an arm around her shivering shoulders and held her close. "Are you all right, Youmu? I don't know if half-ghosts can get colds or anything."

"They're caused by viruses, not just low temperatures!" Kanako pointed out.

"Although being all cold and wet and run-down can weaken your body and make you more vulnerable to all forms of disease, except maybe heat-stroke!" squeaked Suwako. "Wait, no, not the blue shell! Oh, for fu-"

Sanae clamped her hands over Youmu's ears and waited until Suwako seemed to have finished. She lowered her hands and wiped them on her dress. Youmu giggled.

"Are you all right?" Sanae asked her again.

"I'm wet, but I'll live." Youmu sounded less miserable than she looked. "I don't understand where all this rain came from. It was so sunny in the morning!"

"Yeah... I was gonna clean the roof today, but it doesn't look like I can," sighed Sanae.

"You can clean it another day." Youmu could feel herself warming as she snuggled up to Sanae. "You're lucky you and your, um, goddesses live on a mountain. There can't be flooding on a mountain."

Sanae's curiosity was piqued. "Do you ever get floods in the Netherworld?"

"We don't exactly get flooding, but it's, well..." Youmu wrinkled her nose. "Do you know why putting sugar on a cherry doesn't make it sweet?"

"Eh? They are sweet!" protested Sanae.

"It wouldn't _make_ the cherry sweet because they're sweet to begin with!" Youmu smiled with a touch of smugness. "Most of the Netherworld is just marshes, which might as well be flooded all the time, and what's one more flood to a marsh?"

"Hm..." Sanae scowled in concentration as she mulled the question over. "You're saying there couldn't be as much of a relative net increase in the local water level as would fit the definition of a flood."

"That's right! And have I ever mentioned that, um, you..." Youmu blushed and fell silent as if her words had skipped straight into a tar pit. "Well, when you're confused, you look... Sort of... Adorable!"

"Adorable?!" Sanae's face lit up. "Oh, Youmu, that's so sweet! I'm glad my little sweetpea says such confusing things!"

"Unh?!" Youmu wasn't sure how to respond, but Sanae cut her dithering short by giving her a hug.

"I love you, sweetpea..." sighed Sanae. Youmu felt warmer in her arms, although a lot of water had soaked into Sanae's dress. "I don't suppose you brought a change of clothes?"

"Clo... Clothes?" Youmu's face fell. "No."

"Well, maybe some of mine would fit you," pondered Sanae.

"Yours?!" Youmu blushed vividly. "Oh, I-I couldn't! I mean, they're your clothes! I-I wouldn't fit! Would I?"

"Sure you would! We're pretty much the same size, aren't we?" said Sanae blithely, forgetting that Youmu's forehead barely came up to her nose.

"More or less..." Youmu glanced over at the coat rack, which was characteristically draped with coats. "Maybe I could borrow one of those? For the trip home?"

"Home?" Sanae's facial muscles arranged themselves into the Worried formation. "Youmu, it's awful out there! I don't know, maybe you could...?"

"Stay here for the night! I agree," Kanako piped up. She laid down her controller and stood up. "You'll need a bath, I expect, and some dinner."

"Kanako, your racing car! It's- Never mind." Suwako didn't seem hugely disappointed to watch her rival's simulated go-kart plunge into the lava moat.

Kanako rolled her eyes. "As for sleeping arrangements, maybe you'd like us to set up a bed in here?" She gestured vaguely around the sitting room.

"N-no, don't go to all that trouble for me! I'm notoriously low-maintenance!" yelped Youmu.

"My room it is, then!" Sanae jumped on her chance.

"YOUR room?!" Youmu redoubled her vivid blushing. "I-! I, um-! I'll go and find the bath!" she yelped, practically sprinting out of the room.

"Take the first left and watch out for the... Broken trellis..." Sanae winced at the faint sound of Youmu tripping over a broken trellis. "Poor thing. Uh, is something on your mind?"

"Why, no, of course not!" Kanako was smiling at her in a very meaningful way. "Just thinking on what a daring young romantic you turned out to be, Sanae."

"Is it that obvious?" Sanae nervously twiddled her hair. "I mean, my futon's big enough for two, and you heard her! She doesn't want to put us to any trouble! We wouldn't do anything, you know, without shoving a bookshelf in front of the door and putting a spell on the room so you couldn't hear us..."

"I'm sure you wouldn't. You're welcome for that storm, by the way," said Kanako.

Sanae's jaw dropped. "You- What?! You mean this was-?!"

"Enjoy your sleepover, dearie!"


	7. Day 9: Tomboy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is a metaphor for gender roles. I don't like gender roles.

# ~You Can't Fix what Isn't Broken~

Tenshi lay alone on her soft patterned futon, bored out of her celestial mind. It was a perfect day, much like every day had been since her family ascended; a day where nothing could go wrong. Tenshi couldn't stand it. Why couldn't some terrible catastrophe take hold in Bhava-agra? Just once, to break the monotony of her life?

With a louder grunt of exertion than was strictly necessary, Tenshi rolled over onto her front and wedged her arms under her chin. A dull ache built in her jaw until, with a scream, she swivelled her head as far as it would go and rested her right cheek on her wrist. Then her cheek started to hurt. She sighed heavily and turned her head the other way.

"Tenshi! Tenshi! Wake up!" Two painfully cheerful voices broke through the monotony in Tenshi's chateau. With another heavy sigh, she got up and peered out over the garden below.

"Mother's having a poetry competition tonight! Oh, what a marvellous time we shall have!" a Celestial with sky-blue plaits and a fancy patterned waistcoat shouted up at her. Tenshi realised with a heavy heart it was her sister Emiko.

"Wow, a poetry competition?! Oh, joy!" Tenshi feigned excitement. "Let me just see if I've got a spare toss to give. Come on, there has to be one tucked away here somewhere... Nope, sorry, can't give a toss!"

"But-but there's a special theme today! The coming of spring!" the other Celestial pleaded, her chin as pointy as her eyes were bright. It was No-Relation Yamamori, lucky enough to be Emiko's fiance and the biggest wet blanket in the sky.

"Come on, Mima, there's a special theme every time! They're never any fun," Tenshi pointed out.

"But it won't be the same without you! We all miss you, Tenshi! You have to come!" protested Emiko.

Tenshi's good mood had run out. "How can I be what makes a poetry competition worth having?! I'm hopeless at poetry and I never have any fun! Just do it without me!"

"Oh, Tenshi, you can't just stay home and be miserable all day!" Emiko slid into Responsible Big Sister Mode, putting her hands on her hips in the way that always made Tenshi want to kill her. The fact that Emiko was younger than her made it especially maddening. "If you would just try to enjoy it you'd love poetry! You're a Celestial, aren't you?"

Tenshi glared at her. "Well, maybe I'm no good at being a Celestial. Anyway-"

"Then let us teach you!"

"What?"

"Let us teach you!" Mima's voice was as sweet and earnest as ever it had been. "Spend the day with us and we'll show you how to be a proper Celestial. We'll teach you dancing, flower arranging, poetry, embroidery and everything! Oh, we shall have so much fun!"

"She's right, Tenshi! If you could only stop wallowing in misery and let us show you what you're missing out on, I'm sure you'd have a marvellous time!" agreed Emiko, full of confidence.

Tenshi was about to give them a piece of her mind followed by a barrage of keystones when a thought occurred. As painful as it was to admit, Emiko and Mima had a point. She never had tried any Proper Pastimes for Well Brought-Up Young Ladies, had she? Maybe some of them would actually be fun. Maybe some of them would be more fun than moping around with nothing to do.

"Tenshi? Hello?" Emiko gave her a wave. "Anybody home?!"

"Forget it, my love. She's a lost cau-"

"I'll do it."

"Eeeeeeeeeh?!"

"I'll do it," Tenshi repeated. "I agree to let you show me how a perfectly delightful little Celestial should behave."

"Really?!" gasped Emiko.

"Oh, Tenshi, that's marvellous!" squeaked Mima, her face lighting up. "We'll just wait in the garden while you get dressed-"

"On one condition."

Mima's joyful spiel was cut short. "Con... Condition, Tenshi? What is it?"

"You can have me today. Tomorrow, it'll be my turn to teach you how to be IMproper Celestials!" Tenshi smiled. "Sound good?"

Emiko looked at Mima. Mima looked at Emiko.

"It's a deal!" declared Emiko.

"It is?!" cried Mima.

"She'll come around long before the morrow, my angel. Even if you cannot believe in your wisdom, believe in me while I believe in your plan," said Emiko, her eyes shining. "All right, Tenshi, let's not waste another moment! Get dressed in your finest clothes and we'll get started. Come on!"

* * *

Tenshi emerged half an hour later and gave the girls a less-than-enthusiastic wave. She flumped down on the doorstep and started lacing up her tall brown boots.

"Um, Tenshi," said Emiko, "you won't be wearing that to Father's competition, will you? It's what you always wear."

"And what if it is?" Tenshi stood up and did a twirl to show her iridescent blue dress, rainbow-buntinged apron, soft white blouse, black hat and boots so recently laced. "These are cute enough for you, aren't they? Why would I wear anything else?"

"Because-! Because, er..." Emiko frowned. "Tell her, my angel!"

"It's for fashion, Tenshi! You need to wear different clothes every day so... So, um... So it looks like you're... Well, it's what people do, isn't it?" Mima trailed off.

"Exactly." Emiko nodded smugly and put her hands on her hips again. "So why don't we both come in and find you a fresh new look?"

"Fine," sighed Tenshi, picturing Emiko with a spiky mace rammed into each ear. "But no heels."

* * *

After an eventful half hour, Tenshi emerged once again, flanked by Emiko and No-Relation and looking deeply unenthused. She was tripping along in black doll shoes with a short sea-blue dress flopping around under a white apron.

"Must this be so tight?" groaned Tenshi, tugging at the lacy corset built into her dress.

"Oh, Tenshi, it's simply divine! It truly makes the most of your figure," Mima reassured her.

Tenshi scoffed. "My figure?! Who cares about my figure?! We're going to a poetry contest!"

"They'll care whether you've made an effort, Tenshi. Do you want to look sloppy?" asked Emiko.

"I don't see your effort-showing corset, sister." Tenshi gave Emiko's waistcoat a meaningful pat.

"This is fashionable! Elegance comes in many guises, the precise details of which I shan't bore you with, but I put no end of effort into my outfits. This skirt, for example, I wove from scratch!" snapped Emiko, kicking up a short riding boot to twirl her pleated tartan skirt.

"If you say so..." Tenshi could see a long, pointless conversation stretching out ahead. "Anyway, what's first on the itinerary for today?"

"I think we'll start with flower arranging," said Emiko. "Then dancing and embroidery."

"Ooh, how about calligraphy? She'll need to know how to shape her kanji to have any chance of winning tonight!" Mima piped up.

"My dearest love, you are a genius! Calligraphy is the most fun anybody can have with ink!" Emiko squeaked with delight. "I can hardly believe I forgot about it. Oh, what fun we shall have! But first, flower arranging. Don't drag your feet, Tenshi, we have so much to fit in today!"

* * *

"What an utter waste of effort. You should be ashamed of yourself, Tenshi! Not only did you spend the whole day dragging us down with your constant moping, you refused to enjoy anything!" Emiko's mood had soured a little over the course of the day, and now, as she led Tenshi and Mima to their parents' castle, she was in full cry.

"What was I supposed to enjoy, Emiko?! All you've done all day was show me new ways to be bored!" snapped Tenshi.

"You never even tried to have fun! All you did was mope and whinge and sigh and pout and-" Emiko took a deep breath. "You stomped on my foot, you spilled ink on the floor, you tried to embroider your own skin and you glued my best begonias to a canvas in the shape of a stupid bloody dragon!"

"Oh, that was fun!" said Tenshi, brightening up a little.

"It was NOT fun! It was childish and stupid!"

"You know what else is childish and stupid, sis? Your face!"

Emiko screamed. "Damn your face! You should've been a- a jiang shi or something! A demon, a vampire, a maid, anything but a Celestial!"

"Emiko, my love, please calm yourself! It's only an hour until the competition!" Mima piped up, her voice tremulous. "I know Tenshi bothers you, but we tried our best with her! Couldn't you leave it for now?"

"All right," Emiko pouted furiously. "But our father will hear of this."

"Let's change the subject!" smiled Mima, her eyes betraying how desperate she was to avoid any more conflict. "Tenshi, what have you written for the competition? Mine's a set of tanka about the harvest!"

"For the competition? Written? Me? What have I?!" Tenshi tried not to panic. "I, um. I haven't written anything."

* * *

The servants, poetry fans and dozens of cousins milling around the Hinanawi-jo castle's courtyard were expecting Emiko to be well turned-out as always, so more than a few eyebrows were raised as she stormed down the garden path with Tenshi slung over her shoulder like a sack of potatoes. Ignoring the looks she was getting, Emiko slammed her cargo down on a bench. "Wait there," she barked, storming off into the castle.

Emiko returned a couple of minutes later with a pencil and several sheets of paper, still wearing a terrible scowl. "This was all I could find, so it'll have to be enough," she barked, shoving them into Tenshi's hands.

"Oh, I'm sure it will be plenty for a few poems," said Mima politely.

"A FEW?! It's not even an hour until the competition!" cried Tenshi.

"Just- just write a poem! One stupid poem! Anything that comes into your head! Anything at all! About anything! It's easy! Just do it!" screamed Emiko.

Tenshi breathed a deep, heartfelt sigh and looked over her materials. The paper was the weighty sort they made from rice, printed with rectangles for spacing out kanji. Tenshi remembered those boring evenings she'd spent being forced to write out every character over and over again until she could do it 'properly', until she'd realised she could just stab her tutor, torch the schoolhouse and run off to play football. That had got her kicked out of heaven for the first of many times.

Giggling at the happy memory, Tenshi smoothed down her sheet of paper and got ready to engage in some serious poetry. What could she write about? No brilliant ideas sprang to mind. Peaches, maybe? She liked peaches. What was there to say about peaches, though? Round? Pink? Orange? Sweet? With stones inside them? When she got down to brass tacks, peaches were surprisingly boring.

"Um, Tenshi? Don't be shy about writing something less than perfect. It is a friendly competition, after all, and nobody expects you to come up with a masterpiece," Mima encouraged her.

"Nobody sensible expects one sentence from her," sniffed Emiko.

"Oh, Emiko, don't be so horrible!" Mima chided her. "You know Tenshi can speak perfectly well, so I wouldn't be surprised if she wrote TWO coherent sentences, or even three!"

Mima's words brought Tenshi little comfort. She sat there, writing nothing, as the hour of the competition drew closer. It was pretty much settled; she was going to be embarrassed in front of her parents, insulted by her parents, then she'd hide away and not talk to anyone for at least twelve days. Maybe she'd finally watch that Ultraman Max video Sanae had given her. Episode 17 looked good.

* * *

"Thank you all so much for coming! As you know, today marks the beginning of Spring, the season of renewal, of new life, when even the oldest life can find itself in bloom once again!" The venerable Masumi Hinanawi, long-suffering mother to several children, was in her element. She was speaking to about thirty guests from the noh stage in the east wing as usual.

"Some new life may not be long for this world, but would the cherry blossoms be half as fair if we could see them every day? Oh, speaking of 'new', it seems we have a rare guest among us! Tenshi, darling, I am so glad you decided to join in this time, I was so worried you were growing isolated in your little house. Oh, and that dress looks simply marvellous! You're simply radiant when you make the effort," Masumi went on.

"Kill yourself, you stupid, arrogant, miserable, pudding-faced old fart!" was what Tenshi was tempted to say, but she settled for "Thank you, Mother. You're also all right when you make the effort to appreciate me rather than giving me passive-aggressive compliments which, despite what you may think, I can see through with ease."

"Quite." Masumi laughed nervously and changed the subject. "It is a rare pleasure to have all my children gathered like this! Yoko, Tomo, Emiko, Hayato... It is a shame your father was too busy to attend this time, but duty calls, as they say. Now, who else is..." Her expression soured when she caught sight of Mima. "Are you lost again?"

Mima flinched. "W-well, you see, Lady Hinanawi-"

"I took the liberty of inviting her," said Emiko. Her voice was calm and steady, but it had an edge Tenshi had quickly grown used to over the course of the day. "Poetry is a passion my beloved and I share, so she should be right at home here."

Masumi exhaled angrily. "A Celestial should know her place, Emiko, and yours is much higher than... Never mind. The least said about her, the better."

Tenshi hadn't heard any of that before. She gave Emiko a curious look. "What was she...?"

Emiko silently shook her head. She squeezed Mima's hand and fixed her mother's knees with a glare.

"Anyway, let's not burden ourselves worrying about the future. Now, the time is ripe to celebrate the coming of Spring with words spun from our hearts!" said Masumi brightening up considerably. "Tenshi, why don't you start us off?"

Tenshi's eyes widened. "I- I'm up first?"

"Yes! Read us your poem, Tenshi!" Masumi nodded.

"Well about that," Tenshi braced herself for a frosty reception, "I didn't really write one. I hate poetry, and if that wasn't enough I'm dreadful at it, and I'm only here because Emiko and No-Relation talked me into it. So I've got nothing for you."

"You... You didn't?" Masumi's face fell. "But you must have written something! It doesn't have to be perfect, Tenshi, as long as it came from the heart."

"You don't get it! None of you get it! All that comes from my heart is things like not being a poet," sighed Tenshi. "I hate poetry. That's never going to change."

Masumi was horrified. "But Tenshi, you're a Celestial! We all love poetry!"

"Well, I do hate-" Tenshi took a deep breath. "Listen. The fact that I exist, am a Celestial and don't like poetry is objective proof that not all Celestials like poetry. So stop acting like I'm some kind of freak when I just don't like poetry!"

"...You should like poetry."

"Up yours."

"Well. Since this is a poetry competition and you have failed to provide a poem, I must inform you that you are disqualified." Masumi's tone was severe, but there was a hint of sadness in her eyes. "Now, moving on. Emiko, has fraternising with a commoner dulled your mind, or will your poem be-"

"Oh, wait a minute! Wait a minute!" Tenshi gasped, her eyes shining. "I've got one!"

Masumi gave her a look. "I have already disqualified-"

"Shut up!" Tenshi had never felt so alive. The anger she'd felt towards Emiko was now aimed at their mother on Emiko's behalf, and with it came new determination, new possibilities, that begged to become words. While Masumi stewed and the audience looked on with trepidation, Tenshi launched into her poem.

> "They say a Celestial has to be sweet  
>  "With nothing but buckle shoes gracing her feet  
>  "They say in her heart must be naught but vanilla  
>  "And what of her head?  
>  "Just kittens in bed  
>  "She can't be a knight and she can't be a killer
> 
> "They say a Celestial poems must bear  
>  "Singing sweet sentences out of the air  
>  "They say she must love it, no room for her taste  
>  "They say to love shouting or blades is a waste  
>  "If she's not a priss, why then she has failed  
>  "A job she'd not took, but found to her nailed
> 
> "They say many things that look badly on me  
>  "I'm not cute, I'm not sweet  
>  "I don't perfume my feet  
>  "I'm not kind, I'm not gentle  
>  "Don't pray every night...le  
>  "But I'm not the worstmost, not even in here  
>  "You all have your problems you're soon gonna hear
> 
> "If I am too stroppy then what of my sister  
>  "Whose rage since this morning just smouldered and blistered  
>  "At every word I wrongly said  
>  "And every slip-up I ever made?
> 
> "And what of my mother, o highest-born dev  
>  "Are you kind, are you fair, do you live and let live?  
>  "You sneer and you sniff  
>  "You always get miffed  
>  "If we should be kindly, who said you might judge?  
>  "Who said a Celestial should hold a grudge?
> 
> "But wait! Are we not also knights of the sky?  
>  "There's 'they' and there's 'they' and the other they say  
>  "We're born to defend, all brave and all true  
>  "The best of us when there's a rumble is me  
>  "So what's it to be? Strong or just twee?
> 
> "Then what of dear Mima, so pure and so sweet  
>  "The lover, the artist, who never gives grief  
>  "Who can't bear a sword or drop-kick like Tenshi  
>  "So delicate, never to fight as a senshi?  
>  "Is she not the sweetest Celestial born?  
>  "Is she not the kindest of all?  
>  "Is she not sufficient for what she's for?
> 
> "Brave and true  
>  "Fancy and cute  
>  "Shy and demure  
>  "Or nobly born  
>  "Pick two, no more  
>  "Why tell us we're bad when you can't be all four?  
>  "If none can be everything, why pick on me?  
>  "And if Mima's so rubbish, no queen is so great  
>  "Who o'erlooks all their flaws and sees mine with hate  
>  "Sweet kid sister Emiko  
>  "Why can't you just let it go?  
>  "And Mima unrelated  
>  "You should never be hated  
>  "And know this, dear mother  
>  "I can't fit your cutter  
>  "And nor can Emiko  
>  "The image you cling to we'll never come close to  
>  "A top-tier Celestial I may not be  
>  "But I'm the best Tenshi, for Tenshi is me."

Tenshi dropped her pencil with a faint clatter and strode back to her chair, leaving a heavy silence in the room. Her eyes were shining, her cheeks flushed with joy and exertion. The gathered Celestials were staring at her, some beaming, some shaking their heads.

"I'm not stroppy. I just say what's on my mind," Emiko was muttering furiously.

"I do actually know how to use a sword," said Mima.

Tenshi caught her mother's eye and smirked. "Well? What did you think?"

"It was a nice attempt," said Masumi, wearing a slightly pained smile, "especially since you made it up on the spot. That being said, I fail to see how the coming of Spring fits into your poem, so you shan't win today."

"Um..." That wasn't close to the fury Tenshi had expected. "Okay! Good. I'd better up my game for next time-"

"Oh, there's no need for that!" Masumi cut in. "Sorry, but you do hate poetry, after all, and I would hate to force my hobbies on you. So don't come again."

"Fair enough." It wasn't much of a loss. Tenshi had a feeling her newfound talent would be more appreciated elsewhere.

"Right, then!" Masumi swiftly changed the subject. "In keeping with the principle of saving the best until last, perhaps the Yamamori girl would like to go next?"

* * *

As the first morning rays set her room aglow in orange, Emiko was awake enough to wish she wasn't, so she lay there and loafed in her silk futon. She could hear soft snores from the patterned pink blanket cocoon beside her, which figured; Mima had been reciting her favourite poems long into the night. Sighing fondly, Emiko rolled over and draped an arm over the warm lump, hoping to entice her back into the land of the living.

After a couple of minutes, Mima shifted and gave a muffled yawn. "What time is it?" she murmured, snuggling closer to Emiko.

"Just after sunrise," replied Emiko.

Mima groaned. "It's too early to be just after sunrise! I should write a petition..."

"I did say it was time we were in bed when Father turned up with that sake," said Emiko, adopting a softer version of her usual scolding tone, "but I remember a certain sweet maiden wanting to us to finish the Un'you Wakashuu with voices."

"We were having so much fun! I couldn't bear to leave," sighed Mima. "I hope I didn't impose on you, my love."

"You were definitely imposing on Mother," said Emiko, "but she needs to get used to it."

"Come to think of it, do you know where Tenshi...?" groaned Mima, wriggling her head free from several blankets. "She left rather early. Where do you suppose she went?"

"She will have arrived home safely. It is Tenshi, after all," said Emiko reassuringly. She yawned and gave Mima a kiss on the nose. "Do you think we should go and see her?"

"After breakfast," declared Mima. "I could just go for a peach..."

At that moment, the door flew open and smacked into the wall. Emiko's handful of naginatajutsu trophies fell in a heap as the room trembled. Through the door stepped Tenshi, back in her tall brown boots and rainbow sash and wearing the smuggest of smiles.

"Up and at 'em, little sis, little wife-in-law!" Tenshi barked while Mima and Emiko clung to each other in terror. "It's time to talk pheasant about that deal we made."

"Turkey," whimpered Mima. "Not pheasant."

"My life, Tenshi, you're supposed to knock!" screamed Emiko. "What do you want?!"

"You had your day to turn me into a proper Celestial, right? So now it's my turn!" declared Tenshi.

After a moment's tired recollection, Emiko put her head in her hands.

"I knew that was a silly promise to make," groaned Mima. "So, what do you... What do you want us to do, Tenshi?"

"Well, I've been thinking," said Tenshi. "I just spent the whole of yesterday trying to hammer it into your thick skulls that I'm perfect as I am and no-one can change me, so I shouldn't really try and turn you both into bad bitches, should I?"

"Sh... should you?" Mima blinked. "I mean, no, of course not!"

"Good! That's settled. Now, is there anything else we can help you with?" Emiko demanded. "If not, we'll get back to our... loafing."

Tenshi shook her head. "Oh, no. You're not getting off that easily."

Mima and Emiko shared a nervous look.

"I said I wouldn't try to change you," said Tenshi sweetly, "not that I was letting you out of the deal. I must at least broaden your horizons, mustn't I?"

"Yes?" said Mima timidly.

"Well, come on, we've got the whole day ahead of us! I'll teach you how to fight, climb things, spit, skateboard, jump in puddles, steal food and commit acts of hubris! Oh, what jolly spiffing larks we shall have!" squeaked Tenshi, hopping up and down and clapping her hands in a way which just oozed sarcasm.

"Spare me," groaned Emiko.


End file.
